Something for Something

March 23, 2024by Rajeev Hora0

But why do they need to propagate their achievements in a ‘yell and tell’ mode?

I can’t understand this Electoral Bond stuff, man. Is he a new kid on the block?

No, not really. The concept has been around for quite some time now.

Well, the only Bond that I have ever known is James Bond. He gets everything done and also always gets his girl. Kind of makes me ambitious and envious at the same time.

This Bond is different, you see. This is basically a means to pay political parties so that they can fight elections.

But why do they need money to fight elections?

So that they can tell the whole world about the wonderful work they have done in the last few years. You will thus feel confident about voting them back into power for another tenure.

 But why do they need to propagate their achievements in a ‘yell and tell’ mode? If they have done good work, it must be felt and visible to all and sundry. If their work was not worthy enough, it will be also be perceived in the same vein. Why this propaganda then?

 It’s that public memory is short. People would naturally forget all the good deeds of the past few years. People tend to focus on the present. It is called ‘recency’ effect. That is why the Election commission bans inaugurations a few weeks before the elections.

So, you mean to say that all this pre-election drama is just a reminder call. I am getting a feeling that I am being accused of political amnesia. Ah I get it; I am paying them to get a preventative treatment lest my amnesia transforms to Alzheimer.

See you are trying very hard to not understand the basics of the Bond scheme.

You said it! I knew from the very go that they are ‘scheming’ us on that. Why would anyone pay hundreds of crores to political parties just for a simple medical treatment? There has to be something in return. Do they call it “quid pro quo”?

 Yes, it is a Latin phrase meaning, “Something for Something”.

 But then political parties are as it is elected to get some things done, isn’t it? Hmmm, I am getting better clarity now. This Bond creates a special bond with the political parties so that ‘special somethings’ get done. Like currying favours? But that would be illegal isn’t it?

 You got it now. Earlier, a lot of black money and unaccounted cash used to exchange hands before the elections. Now it is all legal. The scheme, sorry, the arrangement ensures that only white money is received by the parties.

 I am going a bit tizzy now. This black and white business is sounding pretty racist. As I see it, I am paying legal tender to get illegal work done. Doesn’t quite sound right. I understand, the Courts also smelt a rat somewhere. But I wonder, why did they take almost six years to smell the rat. I can smell favours, sorry flavours in my kitchen the moment I am cooking.

 The judicial process is admittedly a slow process. They have to finally get it right.

 I know that, something like a cold press juicer. And what about all the money which has got exchanged all these years presumably for the ‘Something for Something’? Are the courts going to insist on a full refund with interest? The government does that if they ever overpay us.

 I don’t think so. That would be courting serious trouble.

 But a windfall for all the contributors. They would have thus got their “Something for Nothing”.

 But brother ‘Something for Nothing’ is against the basic laws of physics.

 You are in the wrong class, mate. Ideal time to bunk and watch a Bond movie.

 Need not. Indian elections are after all, no less exciting!

Pretty excited as well,
Horax (Casper)

First published on on 23/03/24.

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