Take it by the Horn

February 9, 2023by Rajeev Hora0

Take it by the Horn

Loosing weight they say is more about what you eat and seldom about how much you eat. Nutritionists therefore strictly advise against starving. So through a very carefully designed food chart, they change your dietary habits. The carbs and sugars go out of the window and the fibre comes in copiously. The whole concept is about replacement rather than denial.

Come 14th of Feb, the Valentine’s day, the brigades would come out for moral policing. Hue and cry would follow from the liberated. The harassment incidents forgotten every year after the mileage had been extracted. This year has of course has been different. A lateral thinking loyalist had a Eureka moment. Quickly put up to HQ and a concurrence received in double time. “Brilliant, go ahead”, said the approval note.

Apparently as a result, the Animal Welfare Board of India, which falls under the Union Ministry of Fisheries, Animal Husbandry and Dairying, has said that February 14 should be celebrated as ‘Cow Hug Day’. A day like this is required, according to the government body, because “western culture (sic)” is leading to the near extinction of “Vedic traditions”.

Overheard this piece of tittle-cattle within hours of the announcement.

“Hey guys, you herd about this cow-hugging stuff? The loyals have claimed that this creative idea is an absolute out of the ox thinking.”

“This is ridiculous!”

“I agree, I also found this cowmedy very amoosing.”

“I guess election time is approaching and the steaks are very high. Yeah, some politicians would like to milk it for all it is worth. You mean kinda seize the moo-ment.”

“I also herd that is not going to be that simple. You need to have a written bovine consent before you go out. Plus, if it is a confirmed date, you need to make sure that you do not go pasture bedtime. Further, I am told that they have beefed up the security.”

“Hey that’s not on! I wanted to sit out late with her and watch the stars in the milky way. I just can’t forget my last year’s deja moo moment.”

“You mean, when she told you that she was udderly in love with you? And you said “Not as mooch as I love you”.”

“Well something like that. We have gone beyond calf love. She is my permanent moose now.”

“What about the bulls? Can’t we give them a hug as well? Otherwise, it will seem rather sexist.”

“That is a tough one indeed bro. You gay ahead at your own risk. I hope you come back safe to tell the tail.”

“I will. But today they want us to forget the Valentine’s day. What is the next one on the list?”

“Dunno, anything but Guy Fawkes day I guess! Moreover, we already have a Mother’s day. Why repeat it?”

 Can’t answer that. But do you think that they are trying to bully us or bulldoze us? Well, either way, I am not the one to cow down.

 “Holy Cow! This gotta stop, otherwise, we will soon become a laughing stock.”
Or probably already are!


Stopped in my tracks,
Horax (Casper)

Cautionary Postscript: God only knows what would happen if you were to address your loving Valentine as ‘My cow‘!lFree vector graphics of Smiley

Breaking News…. The ‘Cow Hug Day’ has been withdrawn last evening. Now you can hug ’em every day, with consent of course!

First published at seekmediation.com on 09/02/23
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